The Western World Advice Column:
Adolescence is a life stage whose defining characteristic is, unfortunately, confusion. Teenagers find themselves asking many questions: Why do girls expect guys to be telepathic? Why can’t guys ever pick up on incredibly obvious hints? Why is trigonometry so difficult? These questions plague us daily with their unanswerability, mocking us with the profundities from which we remain forever inaccessible.But fear not! Write to the Western World Advice Column, which will have a name that slaps you across the face with its ingenuity, but at present cringes with embarrassment at having been given a moniker that could never be accused of anything remotely resembling originality. This section of the Western World is dedicated to answering your questions and showing you how to do those things that are worth knowing how to do. Queries will be answered and ignorance will be vanquished!
If you have a question that you’d like us to answer, or a topic you’d like us to explore, send us a message at advice.westernworld@gmail.com. All submissions will be kept anonymous, but if you would prefer not to have your question published, let us know in your message. We’d like to think of ourselves as honest and open-minded, so even if your questions is: “Help me find my baby sister before my parents find out that I’ve lost her,” we will not judge you but instead suggest that you hire a babysitter in the future, because honestly, what kind of DECENT human being loses a SMALL CHILD? (In all seriousness, though, we have put ourselves through more self-inflicted humiliation than you may have thought humanly possible, so, no need to be embarrassed.) We’ll be answering some of your questions soon, but in the meantime, we will post a few of our own just to prove that we are, in fact, capable of answering questions. Soon, we will see the confusion of being a teenager will become less and less as your deepest questions get our own deeply considered answers.
