Deadly Disease Sweeping Through Western Canada High

By: Molly M.

Western Canada has had a lively year filled with two measles outbreaks and enough common colds and virus’ to fill up a small hospital, but we have seen nothing as devastating to the student body as this new disease. Maybe you’ve heard of it, almost everyone has suffered from it, and maybe you’ve even lost loved ones to it. This seasonal disease that rips through the student body every year has finally made its reappearance.

It is called Summeritis.

Summeritis, for those of you who are unsure, is a disease that typically strikes in the last month of school before the student body is free to enjoy a summer free from homework and stress. The tragic part of Summeritis is that many students have symptoms and suffer through it without even being aware that their motivation is being torn to shreds by this malicious virus.
Its symptoms include:

• lack of motivation to do anything that doesn’t involve the outdoors
• chronic procrastination
• irritability
• inability to pay attention
• fidgeting

And the list goes on. Since Summeritis is a seasonal affliction, most of the student body is able to suffer through these rough couple of weeks before the freedom of summer soothes all our pain. Unfortunately, Summeritis isn’t the only disease making its way through Western Canada. Senioritis, an affliction with similar symptoms has been striking down many of our grade twelve students. Unlike Summeritis, Senioritis affects the most senior students of our school. With graduation and the end of high school so close, the grade twelve’s immune system, which  stops procrastination and laziness, simply isn’t able to protect them from Senioritis. It is estimated that 104% of all students experience either Summeritis or Senioritis, or both at the same time (bless their poor hearts).

When Summeritis and Senioritis are coupled together, waking up in the morning requires a forty-five minute pep talk. Actually going to school and making good use of one’s time is another pep talk altogether.

There is no cure for either of these diseases, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t methods of easing the symptoms. If you are suffering from either of the disease mentioned above, please try the following methods to overcome the struggle that Summeritis brings.

If you can, try your best to keep up to date with all your homework and tests. It seems almost impossible to keep working while affected by Summeritis, but you can do it! Try to do a little bit of work every evening. It makes a difference. If that doesn’t work, take a minute out of your day to think about how behind you are in all your classes. The panic might cause you to hyperventilate and curl up into a ball and cry, but once it passes there is nothing more powerful than a bit of terror to get your textbooks open.

Most importantly, remember that Summeritis will pass. When afflicted with Summeritis, days drag on and everything seems hopeless, but Summer is so close. Just buckle down, try to study and soon we’ll be free.